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The urge to drink is high tonight.

In college, I tended to drink Long Islands when I went out, which amazes me in retrospect, considering that now I never leave the house and can’t drink much more than a glass of wine. Truly, the past is a different country; they get drunk differently there.

For future reference, and once I get on a computer where I can fix the contrast enough to READ THE DAMN NUMBERS.

Its so funny how little alcohol this graphic says is in these as compared to what i put in them

(Source: rodrigoseaburre)



Various ways of making armor and weapons.



Armour from foam flooring tiles -


I’m looking forward to making Promethea (Sophie) later on this year. And Nightmare.

Last night I had a dream about hugging. It was me and like 3 other people and we were all fully dressed and everything but for some reason it took place in my bathtub and we were just hugging tightly and it was all very comforting.

On Breaking Up

I want to cry.

I want to pick a fight.

I want to mouth off at someone.

I want to crawl in my bed and sleep for a few days.

I want to be happy, but nothing makes me happy. And then for a while I’ll be happy about nothing and then I get mad again and I get so mad I start crying and then the next person who talks to me gets to hear about how upset I am. 

And no one seems to get it. Like, its a breakup. Most people go through this eventually, unless you are some kind of monster robot who’s never let your guard down and let someone in and pinned all kinds of hopes and dreams on them only to realize that you’ve fooled yourself and it all falls apart into a massive disappointment…

Is it because I’m the one who left? Is that why I don’t have the right to feel like I’m dying and losing my mind? Like I’m completely, hopelessly lost? Because I’m still alone with myself for the first time in my life. I still lost 7 years trying to make something work only to wake up at 26 and watch it all shatter. My heart broke too, when I realized that I’d failed. And I had to be the one to look this boy with the beautiful almond eyes in the face and tell him that I didn’t love him anymore. And he took it so calmly. I didn’t have the heart to make him leave, so he stayed with me while he found a new home and every time I saw him asleep on the couch my heart broke again. And it went on for so long.. 

And now I’m here, alone at last in my empty house, everything I ever wanted, and I’m a quivering ball of desperate misery and rage and loneliness and spite and I want to bare my claws and drive everyone away because they all seem so selfish and ignorant and cruel.

And everyone who was ever truly my friend is hours away in another town, or another state, drifted away while I was wrapped up in his world and his friends and what I am left with are coworkers, and boys who have suddenly come out of the woodwork and want me to “come over” and “hang out” and it makes me feel sick because I don’t feel like playing that game now, 

And at the end of the day, I have to wake up and put on a happy face and go to work and smile at the coworkers and pretend I’m not an unpredictable tempest in my heart, because I don’t have a a right to these feelings. I dumped a boyfriend. Big whoop. I must be happy. I must be glad. Single and ready to mingle, haha! 

I… don’t know what to do. 

Anyone who complains about the service anywhere has never had a shitty job. Anyone who has had a shitty job and is not a sociopath does not complain about the service (up to a point) because they know that people are not being paid enough to do the basic aspects of their job, let alone go above and beyond. Nobody with a shitty job is earning enough to survive, so if the cashier didn’t smile at you, well maybe she’s a Bosnian refugee being paid just enough to show up or to forget 1/16 of her troubles but not both, and if the waiter took too long, maybe he’s the only one on tonight because the boss is too cheap to pay three people to do the work of three people, and if the cleaners didn’t get the gum off the carpet, maybe we fucking tried for like 45 minutes and then had to move on and it was your gum to begin with and our list of duties is long and we had to train ourselves and offering nonexistent 1950s-style how-may-I-suck-your-dick-today-sir levels of customer service is not what you get for minimum wage, you get what you goddamn pay for, so get mad at the boss or the company, but not the person not being paid to not act like you’re an entitled ass.
Winston Rowntree (via cracked)

sometimes you find yourself in a dark place an no one can possibly understand and you wouldn’t even have the energy to explain if they asked and the only thing keeping you from just completely self-destructing is  the fact that you have to work tomorrow and if you don’t show up, your team would be in deep shit. 

It’s the little things.

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